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hscontest_essay
 
ACING YOUR SCHOLARSHIP ESSAY

by the Founders of the Students Helping Students™ series


Your hands are probably sore from typing dozens of scholarship essays in the attempt to find money to pay for college. It’s a long process we’ve all been through and we know that it’s not easy and definitely not always fun. But since scholarships are the best kind of financial aid there is—free money that you never have to pay back!—applying for as many as possible, and doing so as well as possible is something every college applicant should do.

Many scholarships require that you write an essay of some kind as part of your application. For some, the quality of your essay is the only thing that matters, and the basis on which you can get the scholarship. Needless to say, you’ve got to ace your essays.

To help you do this, we’ve put together some tips and advice based on our own experience. Since we launched our Students Helping Students™ High School Graduation Speech scholarship contest, we’ve also had the chance to be on the receiving side of scholarship essays, and we can share a few tips on what works and what definitely doesn’t. Some of this might sound like common sense, and it is, but it’s still important to know.

So, here goes:

1. ANSWER THE QUESTION

Most organizations sponsoring scholarships will ask that you write your essay on a particular topic. Here are a few examples:

> What are your educational and career goals? > What significant challenge have you tackled in your life and what have you learned from it? > What do you plan to do with your career in (insert specified career)? > Talk about your non-profit or charity activities and how they’ve impacted your life? > Write a 500-word or less graduation speech that you’d like to deliver to graduates across the United States?

Whatever else you do in your essay you must answer the question being asked of you or write on a topic that’s been specified. You won’t get anywhere if you write a brilliant essay on an unrelated topic or don’t address the question specifically and directly. Your essay will be thrown into the “NO” pile quicker than you can say: “But wait…” and you’ll end up missing a chance to seriously compete with other applicants who answered the question.

This might seem like pretty obvious advice, and we thought so as well before we started to receive entries to our Graduation Speech contest. We got everything from essays about personal challenges to career goals to poems about flowers and their meaning in life. We were baffled. The question clearly stated:

“What thoughts and advice do you want to share with high school graduates across the U.S.? Tell us, in 500 words or less.”

How an essay about personal challenges that an applicant encountered is supposed to be a graduation speech made no sense and it quickly hit our “NO” pile. It was a shame because many of them were well-written.

But they did not answer the question.


2. CUSTOMIZE YOUR ESSAY FOR EACH SCHOLARSHIP

If you’re applying for dozens of scholarships it might be tempting to try and re-use your essays—to submit an essay you wrote for one scholarship to another. And don’t get us wrong, this is definitely a great and right idea. But under one condition: That the scholarship for which you’re re-using your essay asks the same question or has the same required topic as the original scholarship for which you wrote the essay in the first place.

You might be tired, you might be lazy, or you might just be fed up with the whole scholarship process, but if you think you can slide by the scholarship committee, you’re wrong. One of the easiest things to spot is a generic essay that was not written specifically for that scholarship. We learned this first-hand. We’d get these essays for our Graduation Speech contest that started off like a regular graduation speech—“Dear Class of 2003 Graduates! We’re gathered here today…”—but then abruptly became a description of the applicant’s desire to pursue a degree in education, or a touching but unrelated account of the applicant’s struggle to fit in. It was so easy to see when applicants were re-using their essays, and once again, just as easy to put them in the “NO” pile.


3. GET RID OF THE FIRST PARAGRAPH

Ever ridden your bike up the hill? It’s tough to just start right at the bottom of the hill and start pedaling—your legs will cramp up and you’ll be covered with sweat trying to gain speed going uphill. But you’ll get uphill much faster and easier if you start further back on the flat surface and gain some speed before you begin to ride up the hill.

We do this in writing as well. To make our job easier, we start writing on a certain topic and use the first paragraph or two as our pre-hill wind-up. Then we gain some speed and in the next paragraphs begin to actually write the core of our essay, or, to keep with the analogy, climb the hill. It’s easier to get your thoughts flowing before you really dive into the substance of what you’re writing, but it doesn’t make your essay better.

In fact, it makes it worse. Wind-up paragraphs are weak beginnings and weak beginnings doom most essays. You can’t expect a scholarship committee that’s reading hundreds of essays to give you the benefit of the doubt and suffer through the weak first paragraphs to get to the good parts. You have to hook the reader right away, from your first words and your first sentences. If you don’t, your essay is headed to the “NO” pile.

So, what can you do? After you finish your essay, read your first paragraph carefully. Does it start off direct, strong, and on topic? Or is it just a collection of loosely strung together, generic sentences that are winding up to your real beginning later in the essay? In many cases, you’ll find that you need to get rid of your first paragraph because it’s weak and doesn’t begin your essay on the right foot.


4. SOUND HUMAN

You might be tempted to fill your scholarship essays with tons of big words and formal sentences. After all, this is an important piece of writing and one that you want to appear intelligent and educated. But if you overuse big words and make your essay sound like a stiff academic piece of writing, you’ll make it much harder for the scholarship committee to relate to you as a human being. And that’s what you’re after—to make an impression on whoever is reading your essay, to help them relate to you, your goals, your struggles, your plans, and to like you. This might not be what the scholarship rules talk about, but this is what you’re after—to be liked by the scholarship committee.

It’s hard to like someone who does not seem human or sound human. Don’t hide behind big words—let your personality and your own voice come through in your essays. Sure, you should write eloquently, with correct grammar, and in a voice more formal than what you use to Instant Messenger with your buddies. But don’t sound so stiff that you stop sounding human.

After you finish your essay or write a part of it, read it aloud. Does it sound like an intelligent person talking? Or does it sound extremely formal, like an academic paper that might be appropriate for class, but that doesn’t carry forward your personality and voice?


5. AVOID CLICHÉS

Okay, another piece of common sense advice, but one you’ve got to stick to. Cliché’s are weak, they sound generic, and they’re an easy way out for finding the right words to express something. Use your own words to express your own ideas because you need to stand out from hundreds or thousands of other essays, many probably filled with the same old clichés. You need your essay to be unique, and what’s less unique than a bunch of overused clichés?

Here’s an example of what we mean. For our High School Graduation Speech Contest, we received hundreds of essays—or speeches—that began with the traditional graduation speech cliché, like this:

“Dear graduates, parents, and teachers! As I stand here before you, I can’t help but think about the four years that we all spent together…”

This beginning doesn’t say anything unique and wastes space and words on a cliché. The “NO” pile is aching for it.

Here’s another way to begin the same essay, but one that’s original, avoids clichés, and finds a way to surprise the reader. If you surprise the reader, you’re halfway there—you’ve got someone’s attention and you’ve given them a reason to keep reading your great essay.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the death of your childhood and to celebrate your entrance into reality.”


6. FOLLOW DIRECTIONS CAREFULLY

Your chance to get creative is in your scholarship essay, not in the way in which you submit it. If the directions ask that you put your first and last name and your email on every page of your essay, guess what? Put your first and last name and your email on every page of your essay. There’s no room for improvisation here. If you’re asked to submit your essay via email, don’t send it in by mail, or vice versa.

This sounds like stupid advice that everyone already knows, but you won’t believe how many submissions we received for our High School Graduation Speech Contest that did not follow our very simple submission instructions. Many came without the applicant’s name, although we asked that it be included, some exceeded the word limit significantly, some were from applicants who did not qualify to apply for the scholarship. These essays got just one quick look from the readers before flying at the speed of light to the “NO” pile.

Not following directions makes you appear sloppy and irresponsible. That’s the last impression you want your essay to create, so make sure that you follow directions exactly and obsessively.


7. PROOFREAD

We launched our High School Graduation Speech Contest on a Friday and by Monday morning we had over 300 entries. Wow, that was overwhelming, and as we began to go through them, we realized that there were a few things that would help us sort through at least some quickly: Cliché beginnings, generic essays on unrelated topics, submissions that didn’t follow directions, and, most commonly, essays with grammar and spelling mistakes. These made our jobs so much easier! We could spend just a few moments on them, find the mistakes, and put them in the gone forever “NO” pile. With so many other essays to consider, entries with sloppy writing and lack of proofreading were the easiest to dismiss.

Don’t jeopardize your chances of being seriously considered for a scholarship by sending in a sloppy essay. Proofread your work carefully, don’t rely on the spell checker on your computer, and, if possible, get someone else to read your essay. You want your voice and your main points to come through, not the idea that you’re a sloppy and lazy applicant who didn’t feel like proofreading.

___________________________________________________________________

You’ve probably heard a lot of this advice already, and most of it is, in fact, common sense. But even though we heard it over and over when we were working on our essays, it didn’t ring true as clearly or loudly until we launched the High School Graduation Speech Contest ourselves. Seeing the mistakes that applicants make and understanding how easy it is to spot those mistakes and throw the essays into the “NO” pile is what encouraged us to put together these bits of advice for you.

So take our advice, trust your own voice, and get your share of the ONE BILLION DOLLARS of scholarships and grants given out each year in the US.

Good luck and write well!

Nataly and Avi
Founders of NATAVI GUIDES and Students Helping Students™

---------------

>>> Click here to go back to the main contest page

Have a question? Click here to send us an email


Like our site?!? Tell all your friends!


 

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Warning: mysql_pconnect() [function.mysql-pconnect]: mysqlnd cannot connect to MySQL 4.1+ using the old insecure authentication. Please use an administration tool to reset your password with the command SET PASSWORD = PASSWORD('your_existing_password'). This will store a new, and more secure, hash value in mysql.user. If this user is used in other scripts executed by PHP 5.2 or earlier you might need to remove the old-passwords flag from your my.cnf file in /usr/home/natavi/phplibs/dblpair.inc on line 79

Warning: mysql_query() expects parameter 2 to be resource, boolean given in /usr/home/natavi/phplibs/dblpair.inc on line 112

Warning: mysql_pconnect() [function.mysql-pconnect]: Premature end of data (mysqlnd_wireprotocol.c:553) in /usr/home/natavi/phplibs/dblpair.inc on line 79

Warning: mysql_pconnect() [function.mysql-pconnect]: OK packet 1 bytes shorter than expected in /usr/home/natavi/phplibs/dblpair.inc on line 79

Warning: mysql_pconnect() [function.mysql-pconnect]: mysqlnd cannot connect to MySQL 4.1+ using the old insecure authentication. Please use an administration tool to reset your password with the command SET PASSWORD = PASSWORD('your_existing_password'). This will store a new, and more secure, hash value in mysql.user. If this user is used in other scripts executed by PHP 5.2 or earlier you might need to remove the old-passwords flag from your my.cnf file in /usr/home/natavi/phplibs/dblpair.inc on line 79

Warning: mysql_numrows() expects parameter 1 to be resource, null given in /usr/home/natavi/phplibs/dblpair.inc on line 154


Warning: mysql_numrows() expects parameter 1 to be resource, null given in /usr/home/natavi/phplibs/dblpair.inc on line 154


Warning: mysql_numrows() expects parameter 1 to be resource, null given in /usr/home/natavi/phplibs/dblpair.inc on line 154